Mum

Note: this has been sat in my drafts of my blog for 4 years now. Its some how been 4 years since Mum passed away and I haven’t been able to bring myself to post this, but here goes. Love you Mum.

Normally social media rules are to celebrate the high points and hide the reality of life. If you follow any one who posts selfies regularly you will probably be subjected regularly to this reality.

Anyways, when life doesn't really play along as you would hope you can either see it as an element to hide away or something to celebrate.

Well, on this blog I've written hundreds of things about great times, amazing travels and honestly the reason for starting this blog was to ultimately keep my parents updated with what me and my young family are up to. It's also been a great way for me to look back at great times and remind myself about things moving forward.

So I thought well since my mum enjoyed reading my blog so much she deserved her own post. Sadly February 2016 mum was taken from us all to quick, and so I thought I should reflect on a wonderful life.

I know mum had an amazing life before I came along as my parents first child but I thought I would start with that point, as my dad I know has so many great memories for himself before that time.

Well as a new parent, seeing first hand the dedication, love, patience, understanding, care and love that a young mother has for a child is a truly amazing thing. It doesn't matter from where you come, once you have a child, the need to feed every few hours, hold, carry, soothe, sing, dance, play is something for which you can't really prepare. As a man you can help as much as you can but the way mothers the world over adapt to this is nothing short of amazing. To have a mother who took it all in her stride makes me feel very lucky, and to have a wife who is equally adept is something to cherish on a daily basis.

Growing up, mum was adept at a great many things, well in fact through her whole life.

She could make an outfit or costume, she could make an amazing dinner, she could make holiday plans, she could make a sick day from school an enjoyable experience, she could make you dream and ultimately she could make a home. She did all this whilst working first at a bank and then secondly in partnership with my dad for their own business.

My mum was an adventurer. No two ways about it. Wherever she went she was keen on trying new things. It could be climbing the cliffson the beaches on the gower, it could be going fishing for mackerel and unfortunately catching a seagull. It could be camping out in west wales when it's raining and blowing a gale so my dad could watch planes mum would make it so we had a great time.

She also loved to make sure we got to experience new things. One summer she thought we should try sailing so I went for a wonderful week sailing small boats in the chalk quarry lakes. Around that same time she decided to take me skiing. She had been once or twice and Thought it a good thing to try.

Literally from the first time skiing got me. It captured the imagination and even though I was only going at the local dry slope, those Saturday mornings where everything to me. Whizzing over the Moguls doing jumps in the ski suit she built me was the best thing ever.

From there she encouraged me to go on skiing holidays thankfully where I started snowboarding which ultimately changed my direction in life. All of a sudden one day I knew that I "am going to do a season" even though I didn't know what it meant really. And despite it mean me putting off university she willed me on to go for it.

Then when I decided I wanted to go to uni she helped me with applications. Once I graduated again she embraced me and friends driving off round Europe snowboarding.

Then when I started work she was always there to bounce questions off, and listen to my trials and tribulations.

One of the most amazing things was how welcoming she was to my now wife. She had met her once or twice but when Mareike came to stay the first morning she had made us breakfast in bed. That's something I think we will be thankful for forever. Mum would keep in close contact with Mareike writing her emails, and was really impressed with how she was raising our son. Mum made Mareike a beautiful Pendlton diaper bag also and a little ladybug for our son for Christmas which we cherish but did pass on to my sister as we know how much she will enjoy that too with her own little on. Embracing everyone is without doubt one of the best qualities she had. Didn't matter where your from, your background, she would give you a warm welcome.

Mum was without doubt happy when there was almost too much going on. Step into her sewing room and she would have pins and needles on the floor, filing cabinets holding together our family and she would be sewing the village pantomime costumes.

I suppose one of the best things with mum, was that she just didn't care what anyone thought.

I remember our wedding, she was there dancing away until 2am with everyone having the time of her life. The night before we were out at a schnapps brewery and there she was knocking them back.

Or a few years ago when she was visiting us in France and she decided on a swim and jumped in the ocean in capbreton, on a particularly heavy day at the age of 70 and out she paddled before being smashed in the shore break and washed up half way the beach, laughing her head off smiling and loving it.

The other thing that I loved was how matter of fact she was with everything she did. She had spoken a few times about never wanting to be looked after or be in an old peoples home. When she first fell ill, we didn’t know how serious it was until one Skype call after which we realized we had to get home asap. She was in a bad way, but it was all as if she was taking everything in her own stride. She stayed with it long enough for me, Mareike and Lenny to arrive to the hospital, give us all a kiss and pretty quickly afterwards it was as if she had made her peace and went on her way. That was always how mum would do it. No fuss, no commotion, just taking things all in her stride.

Honestly words don't do justice for mum, well nothing does, it's just good to write down at times to remind yourself what a great woman, wife mother and grandmother she was and that I can only hope to take her best qualities forward with me.

So I suppose what's the reason behind me writing this blog? Well to keep myself honest to mum. They say if you write it down it comes true, and so in terms of living by her code that would be right,

She loved life, she embraced everyone, she loved getting the community together, she loved her family, and she loved having a good time. If I can live by those principles, then I will have done alright.

Love you and miss you Mum xx

Note :

Shortly after writing this in Feb 2016 we went out to the beach to celebrate my mum on what would have been her birthday May 17th. She loved the beach and the Ocean especially out in Oregon. That evening, Sani and I put our wet suits on and paddled out. As Sani was just ahead of me I picked up the camera to take a couple of photos and of course, what did we see swimming along just past the shore? A big whale, swimming north for Summer, breaching and basking in the early summers day. I am not particularly spiritual but I do feel like there is more to life than just us. Seeing that whale did make me think that she is always there watching over us.